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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Clouded thoughts

Well, there is this thing that I am facing lately that makes me feel a little off. It’s like when you wake up in a cloudy day and you feel tired, moody and a grey atmosphere surrounds you like the sight outside your window. I feel like a sunbeam hidden behind layers of clouds which just don’t let me shine. 

And the trouble is that I know what I need to do in order to change this…but it’s not really possible.

There is this point in your life where you have to decide what to do. What is happening though when you know what you want but you can’t have it? All I want is to write and to publish my stories. That is what makes me happy and that is what I love. It’s the only thing I do without getting bored, without any second thought. But…there is always a big “BUT” hidden behind our biggest desires, right?

And that’s how we get to the things we MUST do. It’s not something new and I get it that many people do what they must. It’s just…makes me unhappy.  

I know that I don’t want to stop writing, but I am afraid that reality will obligate me to stop. I don’t see writing as a hobby, as something I just do in my free time. Writing is an urge I have and I just can’t suppress it. Nor I want to. With writing, everything feels like things have fallen into place. If only that could exist in every part of my life!

Enough with the sad thoughts. Looking the bright sight is better even if it is harder sometimes, right? Feel free to comment.


  1. Yeah, looking the bright side is better. Nice thoughts on this post, A. There are times when I feel like that too. There are times I ask myself if writing is worth continuing. At times like that, I just try to empty my mind and picture my book in the hands of a reader.

    As a writer, my greatest joy would be to see that I've made someone happy with my book. And that's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me writing. To see that one day people would be happy to read my book, and then I'll know that I haven't laboured in vain at all.

    Just keep writing, A. Believe in yourself and in your craft and it might take you somewhere someday :)

    1. Yes, I will keep writing, but I can't help some sad thoughts now and then. Imagining someone reading your book it is a nice thought. I guess all is needed is time.
      Thanks for taking time to make a comment.

  2. Reading into this kinda made me feel relieved because I know that you understood me completely. :) I was afraid of publishing that entry at first because I fear that people would think that I'm over analyzing things, but thanks for leaving such a heartwarming comment in my post. You're such an amazing blogger, and I'm very blessed to have you as a reader no matter how crappy my blog is.

    Here's to us continuing to do what we love best -- to write! :)
    ~ Riza

    PS, I just read that Meyer's The Host would be made into film with Saoirse Ronan as the lead. I immediately thought of you. :)

    1. Looking forward to reading your book! :) Goodluck on your writing.

    2. Thank you very much for your kind words. When I read your post I felt the same because I was debating either to make this post or not.

      Yes, here’s to continuing what we love and even if we can’t do it with the terms we would want, it is good that we will still do it. Besides…we can never know what is going to happen, right? :)

      P.S I read that too about The Host and I hope so bad to be good. :) Plus I plan soon to read Feast of Crows. I know you have read it but I didn’t want to read your post in case there are spoilers. :) I hope is as good as the third book in the series.

    3. Thank you!! I want so much for people to read DAZED when I publish it! And I hope to find it good. :)

  3. I know this feeling I used to write all the time but now I just feel so discouraged that when I look at a blank page my heart starts to beat fast at the thought of expressing the words and letting them out into the world.

    1. It's not a nice feeling and I think we should shut it down. Why you feel discouraged? I say don't let your mind stop what your heart wants. ;)