I'm taking a break.
Lately I find myself a bit detached from the writing part of my life and that is not a deliberate choice.
It's just that there is no time and if you read my post last week, you know why. But I read. Not as much as I'd love to, but I do. Everyday even if it's just for half an hour, I read.
You know how they say that it's important to read in order to write and as much as it is a cliché, it's true. The more I read, the more I feel a spark inside me, flickering, sometimes exploding as if I add fuel to the fire. Many times I re-read quotes and passages from the stories I read, and I dream of books yet to be written. Characters fly by my mind like migratory birds and I stretch out my hands to grab them, or even touch their feathers for just a single moment before they leave me alone again, holding a book in my hands.
My sis teases me, saying that I live inside my head but it's not me that lives in there but stories and characters and I want to help them get out, make them real. I know it takes years, effort, mistakes and guts, but there's really no alternative. I can't hush the voices and I can't bear to see those characters stay trapped in a mind that could have written their stories.
This is what I do. I write. I don't know if it's good, I don't know if it's crap, I feel insecure and there is the imposture syndrome troubling me, but I'm here to learn, explore and create. When I do that, I leave behind the doubts and the negative thoughts, I don't care about the after, I just lock those thoughts in a tiny little box, toss the key away and let the stories come out.
So yeah, you could say that for those moments of writing I do live inside my head, but when I land to reality again I'm not alone. We carry our stories the same way we carry the luggage in our lives and I'm determined to carry mine as long as I can.
Cheers to untold and half developed stories.
P.S: Here's the link for the pic.
I have lots of stories and characters trapped inside my head, too. Best of luck writing so you can have some of yours live on the page instead!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Heather! Best of luck to you too. I'm really curious to find out what characters you get to torture next. :PDelete
I'm not sure a person can create without insecurity. Maybe a Zen artist, but then I think the Zen artist would say, I create and I doubt. There have been times when I did not feel like a writer at all. The stories and voices were gone. I was too far into survival mode, but then the opposite, when there are so many stories and voices but I can't shake the feeling that I suck. I know how you feel about unfinished stories, they haunt you and you can't abandon them.ReplyDelete
Happy flying Athina!
Maybe you're right. Maybe it's insecurity driving us, pushing us to create. Many times I feel this way too and many other times I feel exactly the opposite. Feelings are a big tangled knot, but it's my knot so I have work with it. :)Delete
Happy swimming, Robyn!!