My food wasn’t good today, my coffee was too sweet and even my reading was flat and boring. Nothing is as it supposed to be and I’m feeling blue. But maybe is the other way around. Maybe I feel blue and that’s why everything is not as it supposed to be. It’s a chain reaction.
Sometimes I think that life is nothing more but chemical reactions. We’re happy because it happened that way and the correct enzyme or something brought us the happy mood and the cheery attitude. Or maybe I’m watching too much Breaking Bad!
Oh, well, I don’t know. But I know that something doesn’t work lately.
Not enough reading and surely not enough writing. I missed my writing cave, the silence but for the voices that make me smile and trigger the right reactions.
I want that. Not the after part, the doubts, the editing and the self-hatred. I have that now so I miss the other part. The good and creative one. You know, when you lose yourself in the story and nothing else matters. Because at that moment everything is perfect.
I want to be there and I want it to last. Pause time and just live there until I’m ready to move again and deal with the stuff I can’t handle now.
Simply said: I want to write.