Writer’s self-doubt

Well, it was about time for the doubt to knock on my door…again! I’m sure every single one of you knows what I mean. I’m talking about that little annoying voice in your mind which tells you that you are just not good enough, you are not cut out for this and as hard as you try to shut it down the voice continues screaming at you, making your confidence jumps off the window in a fall without borders. You may hear it when you are reading a good novel or when you see a beautiful manuscript or, even worse...when you are writing your own.

Our first encounter was when I started writing DAZED. The voice appeared one day wanting to convince me that I wasn’t going to finish it, or that no one would ever read it or that my story was just so predictable that there was no point to continue writing. I made that voice disappear when I finished my novel and made the second and the third draft. Now at my forth one, the voice returned and it is louder than before. It’s so annoying like when someone scratches his nails on the wall and it makes me chill. 

I guess that as closer I am to the end, to finish my book in order to publish it, the voice will keep growing demanding my attention more than any other time. That voice was the reason I decided to make two more drafts as I have said in a previous post. It’s just messing with my head so bad that I have to obey. At least at this point I think that I have to obey and give DAZED another round of changes and polishing, making it better and find my courage along the way so I can move to the next step.

But I have to be careful, and we all should be, in order to keep that voice’s decibels in a short range. We don’t want to lose our voice and we can’t permit for that to happen. EVER. Doubt is good sometimes because it makes you better; it urges you to continue, to believe in yourself but as long as you have it under control. So, we write ignoring the voice that messing with us but there must be the time when we will stop and listen what the voice suggests. And either we will follow the path we want, or we will surrender to doubt and we will wander in new places but always knowing the way back. This is important! We must always know the way back! If we got lost, then the voice will never be ours again and all the things we wanted to write, the stories we wanted to share, will stay untold, unwritten, inexistent and a part of our soul, will never forgive us.

Do you hear that voice too? Have doubt ruined your plans? Did you ever follow its path? Please share with me your experiences so we could all learn how to raise our voice louder and make doubt our ally in the long and magical travel of writing a novel. What do you say?