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Monday, April 27, 2015

Idle days

I feel like I'm on pause. 

I'm not exactly shutting down, but I just stop for a while. My brain is frozen, my strength is limited and I feel like all I can do are those necessary things to help me get pass this day and maybe have some fun. I feel both physically and mentally tired. Have you ever felt like this?

I want to finish writing my book, I crave to finish it, and I'm so close that it hurts to see the chapter half finished. It really hurts so much that I have the urge to force myself to sit down and get over with it. I want to write the end so much. But every time I sit down to write, half an hour later, I get distracted. It's like one of those times where I feel that it's not the time to write only in this case I know it's time but I have no strength.

I know what you're probably thinking so I'm gonna said it out loud so I can hear it. I need a break. I need to clear my head from all those tasks I add in my mental list and just be. Just sit and do nothing, walk in the park and dismiss the thoughts of those things that demand my attention.

What I really want? I want a week by the beach, drinking cocktails and tanning, not caring about food, or cleaning the house, or about catching the early bus to work. I want just a bit of stillness. Those quiet days that no one speaks, no one demands, or asks or requests. Not even me. Am I asking too much? Probably yes, but you know, a girl can dream and our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

And the truth is that I don't have the courage to rest. Ironic, I know, but I want to do those things that must be done and then, I can rest. Then I will truly rest because there won't be an unfinished task waving its red flag at me.

Oh, yes, I set my goals and I just have to see them through no matter what. I'm constantly on edge, no need to point that out! :P

So this is me, writing my way out of pause. I think it's working.
What's up with you this week?


  1. Even though you're writing your way out of pause, I sure want those things for you, the week by the beach with cocktails and sunbathing and walks through the park, maybe taking a path you hadn't intended. I'm not sure which way is braver or harder, the break or pushing through, but you need both options in life I'm thinking.

    Fly high Athina!

    1. So true, Robyn. We need both options in life. We need to have choices, to push through or just stop for a while and gather our mind and strength.A path of options is what forms our lives after all.

      Swim deep, Robyn and don't mind the vast waters.