Monday, April 27, 2015

Idle days



I feel like I'm on pause. 

I'm not exactly shutting down, but I just stop for a while. My brain is frozen, my strength is limited and I feel like all I can do are those necessary things to help me get pass this day and maybe have some fun. I feel both physically and mentally tired. Have you ever felt like this?

I want to finish writing my book, I crave to finish it, and I'm so close that it hurts to see the chapter half finished. It really hurts so much that I have the urge to force myself to sit down and get over with it. I want to write the end so much. But every time I sit down to write, half an hour later, I get distracted. It's like one of those times where I feel that it's not the time to write only in this case I know it's time but I have no strength.

I know what you're probably thinking so I'm gonna said it out loud so I can hear it. I need a break. I need to clear my head from all those tasks I add in my mental list and just be. Just sit and do nothing, walk in the park and dismiss the thoughts of those things that demand my attention.

What I really want? I want a week by the beach, drinking cocktails and tanning, not caring about food, or cleaning the house, or about catching the early bus to work. I want just a bit of stillness. Those quiet days that no one speaks, no one demands, or asks or requests. Not even me. Am I asking too much? Probably yes, but you know, a girl can dream and our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

And the truth is that I don't have the courage to rest. Ironic, I know, but I want to do those things that must be done and then, I can rest. Then I will truly rest because there won't be an unfinished task waving its red flag at me.

Oh, yes, I set my goals and I just have to see them through no matter what. I'm constantly on edge, no need to point that out! :P

So this is me, writing my way out of pause. I think it's working.
What's up with you this week?

2 comments:

  1. Even though you're writing your way out of pause, I sure want those things for you, the week by the beach with cocktails and sunbathing and walks through the park, maybe taking a path you hadn't intended. I'm not sure which way is braver or harder, the break or pushing through, but you need both options in life I'm thinking.

    Fly high Athina!

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    Replies
    1. So true, Robyn. We need both options in life. We need to have choices, to push through or just stop for a while and gather our mind and strength.A path of options is what forms our lives after all.

      Swim deep, Robyn and don't mind the vast waters.

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