Thursday, November 5, 2015

Blue as Ink





It's November already and I feel blue. Like you took me by the hand and told me to dive in a pool of dark, blue ink and I trusted you and I jumped. So, I'm blue! 

Two reasons I can identify so far for that overwhelming feeling. Because this is the month I'm getting older and because it's actually November! 

Seriously?

I feel there was somewhere a big black hole and I stumbled and fell right into this big round thing of darkness. And it swallowed me whole! I didn't feel like falling, I didn't feel the cold air hitting my face before I hit the ground. I just hit it hard.

Lately I don't even feel the days passing by. I go to work where I feel like I'm actually stepping inside the computer, that I'm becoming too bits and bytes, zeroes and ones. Ann then at six thirty the computer spits me out and I have to keep going from where I left off.

But where am I exactly?

I feel like I'm standing still while the world around me moves so fast and even if I want to catch up, every time I try to follow its speed, I get sidetracked and lost.

Now I'm going to close my eyes for just thirty seconds, breathe in slowly, then out. Trying to grasp reality and hold on to it.

So, here I go ...

6 comments:

  1. Aw, sorry you've been feeling so down lately... *hugs*

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    1. I just wish that it'll go away soon. *hugs*

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  2. "I feel like I'm standing still while the world around me moves so fast." I think I'm just so tired that they become background noise in my repetitive existence.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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  3. You took me fully into how you're feeling especially with the computer sucking you in and then spitting you out. Sometimes it's the slow quiet that kills the most and yet you make it sounds so poetic Athina. You'll find yourself on the other side of this.

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    1. "It's the slow quiet that kills the most" It is isn't it? *sighs*

      I just cross my fingers that this week will be somehow different, that maybe, I can wash off the ink. At least some.

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