Wednesday, June 3, 2015

It's in your head




I'm taking a break.

Lately I find myself a bit detached from the writing part of my life and that is not a deliberate choice.
It's just that there is no time and if you read my post last week, you know why. But I read. Not as much as I'd love to, but I do. Everyday even if it's just for half an hour, I read.

You know how they say that it's important to read in order to write and as much as it is a cliché, it's true. The more I read, the more I feel a spark inside me, flickering, sometimes exploding as if I add fuel to the fire. Many times I re-read quotes and passages from the stories I read, and I dream of books yet to be written. Characters fly by my mind like migratory birds and I stretch out my hands to grab them, or even touch their feathers for just a single moment before they leave me alone again, holding a book in my hands.

My sis teases me, saying that I live inside my head but it's not me that lives in there but stories and characters and I want to help them get out, make them real. I know it takes years, effort, mistakes and guts, but there's really no alternative. I can't hush the voices and I can't bear to see those characters stay trapped in a mind that could have written their stories.

This is what I do. I write. I don't know if it's good, I don't know if it's crap, I feel insecure and there is the imposture syndrome troubling me, but I'm here to learn, explore and create. When I do that, I leave behind the doubts and the negative thoughts, I don't care about the after, I just lock those thoughts in a tiny little box, toss the key away and let the stories come out.

So yeah, you could say that for those moments of writing I do live inside my head, but when I land to reality again I'm not alone. We carry our stories the same way we carry the luggage in our lives and I'm determined to carry mine as long as I can.

Cheers to untold and half developed stories.

P.S: Here's the link for the pic. 

4 comments:

  1. I have lots of stories and characters trapped inside my head, too. Best of luck writing so you can have some of yours live on the page instead!

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    1. Thank you, Heather! Best of luck to you too. I'm really curious to find out what characters you get to torture next. :P

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  2. I'm not sure a person can create without insecurity. Maybe a Zen artist, but then I think the Zen artist would say, I create and I doubt. There have been times when I did not feel like a writer at all. The stories and voices were gone. I was too far into survival mode, but then the opposite, when there are so many stories and voices but I can't shake the feeling that I suck. I know how you feel about unfinished stories, they haunt you and you can't abandon them.

    Happy flying Athina!

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    1. Maybe you're right. Maybe it's insecurity driving us, pushing us to create. Many times I feel this way too and many other times I feel exactly the opposite. Feelings are a big tangled knot, but it's my knot so I have work with it. :)

      Happy swimming, Robyn!!

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