I miss you.
It's been seven years since I last saw you but you didn't see me. You couldn't. You were cold, motionless and still but it didn't stop me from standing near you, touching your hands as if you could still feel it. And I didn't let you go until they took you away from me.
I miss you so much, and today as I sat by an old lady on the train and looked at her, the look on her face reminded of you. So the memories rushed in my mind, so vivid and painful opening the hole in my heart again. A hole that will never truly heal.
I wish that you could be here, your house is not a home since you left but somehow I still feel your presence when I visit grandpa. But it's not the same, and seven years later, it still bothers me. I long to see you wait for us on the porch like you used to do and that is the first place I gaze when I find my way back there.
I picture you standing up and coming toward the car, to greet us with a smile on your lips that reach all the way to your blue, sad eyes.
Writing down these words, will not change reality, but by writing them down, I feel closer to you, like you can hear me. Writing to you is the only way I can feel close to you again. Because here, like this,
I can tell you all about the things that you did not have time to see.
And today, I just want to say …
I miss you.